American Idol Season 10 - The Top 11 (again) Cover Elton John

     Well, even though Casey wasn't impressive to me last week, I still thought if he could outlive and not repeat that "Smells Like Teen Spirit" horror, he'd last through a while longer. So I was surprised to see him get eliminated, especially since he was standing next to Stefano for bottom three. I was not so surprised the judges saved him, but I would have understood if they hadn't. He's not going to win. So in a sense, they did waste the save. But honestly, I can't see them using it on anyone else apart from Lauren, and she's extremely unlikely to end up in the bottom. We have to remember, they're also privy to the voting amounts and orders each week. If they see that a frontrunner is never going to be in even the bottom half, they can gamble with some assurance. 

     Why wouldn't they have used it on anyone else? Naima, Haley, Stefano and Paul aren't talented enough to win. Jacob and Scotty are off point in terms of pop. Thia has a self-awareness problem, and Pia has a similar, though more self-confidence/worth problem. I'd say Pia or James would be the only other even slightly possible candidates to save, but I don't know if Pia's going to break through fully, and James would be the third male "rocker"-y winner (and probably is in a position similar to Lauren in the voting, far ahead). That leaves Casey. So it's very easy to choose to rescue him. In spite of some bad choices, he's shown true talent that hasn't really wavered, even in the horrible Nirvana singing. And he seems like such a genius, I could see why they would want to show him the respect. Plus, I'm sure he's helpful to all the other contestants. And by saving him, they can tour with eleven instead of ten. It was obvious they were going to go that route when they saved him, since the only other option would be having a "Top 9" tour. So Casey's back this week, along with everyone else. Maybe the voters will now work to have Casey stay beyond those who are actually far less talented than he. Let's hope they all do well with Sir Reginald Dwight's music, because I don't want to hear anything like Paul's terrible Top 12 performance.

     Apparently they all had style makeovers this week, but most of them look the same. I had thought the style makeovers took place when they first got there, because that's when they started changing up their looks. I couldn't believe it then, and I can't believe now that they still let Casey and Naima go on with that hair (face, head, respectively).

     Scotty McCreery found Elton's Tumbleweed Connection (more likely, someone who knew pointed him toward it, although the title easily could have tipped him off) and chose "Country Comfort," which is a great choice for him. Lucky for Scotty there was a western concept album to use! I agree with Jimmy Iovine that Scotty is stylized, and that this is his trick. But it's a natural trick, and well done---in real terms, it's his skill. He's not a pony, he's a person with a specific talent. But Scotty didn't sing this song as well as usual. He sounds off at the starts and ends of phrases. I don't know if it's his playing the guitar or just the song. He definitely picked up after the grandma line, and especially after the chorus. It wasn't his best performance, but it was still quite good.

     Naima Adedapo picked "I'm Still Standing." Shinola. I don't understand why Naima would try to turn this into a reggae song. Does she have to change every song into something else? Nothing is good enough to suit her? I'd like to hear at least one straight. But nothing could be worse than her decision to sing the song in a fake Jamaican accent. What the hell is that? Reggae doesn't mean you adopt a false personality and sing in a fake accent! Did you all do Liverpudlian accents when you were in Vegas doing the Beatles? No. Naima doesn't sound bad, but the concept of imitating the accent is just bizarre, on top of the already bizarre choice of doing the song as a reggae one. She got to AI by singing well, and everything she's been doing since finals is just gimmicks and weirdness. 

      I agree with Randy that it was corny. Not real, not from a place of truth. I don't know what Naima does in her everyday life, but if it's this kind of thing, I feel sorry for her, because it seems like she has to try really hard and be someone other than who she really is. It's a shame, because she has talent. But it's like if someone was a terrific actor, but they suddenly realized all they wanted to do was in the comedic style of Rodney Dangerfield or Sam Kinison. That person might be convincing and you might see their acting talent coming through, but who the hell wants an actor who just uses a false schtick?

     Paul McDonald is using "Rocket Man." As he cranes his neck, I think I see why Paul has the beard. Maybe they trimmed it so it's more noticeable: it looks like he has one of those long necks with little chin. I guess it's okay to leave him with the beard if he feels he has to compensate for his chin. But unless it's nonexistent, I'm sure he'd be better off showing his actual face. I thought James would do this song, so I'm disappointed. 

     Luckily. Paul didn't do as bad a job as I feared. Maybe because he sang it with his band, so he's comfortable with it. But he doesn't have the voice and power to sing it properly. The first crest was totally lost because he ran out of air, and the "Rocket man!" is supposed to really burst there. In all, it was pretty weak, and the little baby voice he does sometimes (is that supposed to be sexy or just weird?) didn't help. I agree with the judges, he may be holding back, because in the Beatles audition he performed well. I disagree with Steven that a voice going off key can be good. Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, even Neil Young---these guys have strange voices, but they don't sing off key. I'm confused as to how that could be his (or any musician's) cup of tea. I don't know what Paul was talking about characterizing "Rocket Man" as a quiet song or not a big hit. It's not a quiet song, and it was a massive hit, with classic status. Maybe his misinterpretation is why he did such a pale, lackluster version of the song. At least he got the suit right (you'd think an imitation suit would at least mean he knew what songs were hits!)

     Pia Toscano is once again going with a ballad, "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me." This one has potential, though. She could make it special, different, soulful with toughness. It can be that if she wants. There was a ton of vibrato as she started, and then, suspiciously, it also sounded like there was some Autotune! Is there some producer-fed push for Pia? Whatever the case may be on that, there were too many runs and BS in her performance, and there was power, but she also seemed incredibly nervous again, especially with that much vibrato. It was good, but I found it boring nonetheless. This is an epic song, and you can make it pull down the sky if you carry it off. Pia's just not doing it. I think that's a terrible sign: she's just not impressing, and that's with obvious talent. There's something wrong with that. 

     I saw what Jennifer was saying in terms of seeing Pia trying to break through as she sang. It did look like she was really pressing up against it, right at the threshold, but almost afraid to go beyond it. I don't know if she has the power, ease, and self-confidence she needs. Which is sickening, given how beautiful and talented she is. She just may not have that fiery soul and gutsy drive a real artist has. After weeks of the same from her, she seems basically boring at heart, sort of vacant.

     Stefano Langone, who is singing "Tiny Dancer," needs to get that patch of crumbs off his chin. He must have fallen asleep on his plate of chocolate cake! Seriously, dude, what is that supposed to be? It looks like you scraped your chin on muddy pavement. I'm very sad Stefano's doing this song, because I love it. I mean, I love a lot of Elton John songs, but this is definitely a favorite. I might not have "owned" it in my family like I did "I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues," but it was a staple, like "Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters" or "Little Jeannie" or "Levon" or "Someone Saved My Life Tonight or Goodbye Yellow Brick Road." So I'd rather not see someone halfassed do it. 

     I'm glad Jimmy Iovine encouraged him to stop shortening every word and note, but unfortunately the encouragement didn't take. The song was grossly cheapened by Stefano's rushing and shortening to get to his bullshit "baby"s, oo-oohing, and mmm-mming. He cut the phrasing like a school cafeteria cuts brownies. "Tiny Dancer"'s lines are gorgeously pulled and stretched luxuriously. They feel like fabric unfurling and whipping in the wind across water. Stefano is a total idiot. A real cheeseball, crap boy band, forgettable dance song singer. Which is a pity, because he has vocal talent. He's just stupid. This is probably the best he's done for a while, and he did connect with the audience (which he's never done before, too busy doing the bedroom hairbrush singing with his eyes closed, imagining an audience). But he just doesn't have any understanding of or any real feeling for the songs he sings.

     Lauren Adams has chosen "Candle in the Wind," which, as much as I like her, has me worried. God, I used to love this song! I liked it quite differently after it was redone as the "Goodbye, England's Rose" version, but either one is a beautiful song. I just think that Elton John must have had a different vision of both Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana than I did/do, so I had trouble feeling like connecting the two through song was appropriate. But he certainly knew Princess Diana better than most, and maybe in his mind that's not even really connecting them. Please know that when I say "his mind" anywhere here, or "his song," even though I'm not mentioning it, I am thinking of the collective mind shared by Bernie Taupin and Elton John. I thought this was a very different choice for Lauren, and it is, but it worked fabulously. I loved the changes she made for some of the notes and phrasing. She went a bit off on the first "candle in the wind," but it was hardly noticeable. I think this was a transcendent arrangement and could absolutely be released as her own version. Although I guess they do that with all the songs now, since iTunes joined up with them. 

     I also think Lauren related the emotion of the song really well. She usually does. In this case I wonder if she feels what's being said in the song "they set you on the treadmill/and they made you change your name" is something she feels herself. I'm fairly sure "Alaina" is her middle name, and the show producers have clearly put her on a weightloss routine since she's made it on. I don't think the lyrics are quite as literal as all that, and certainly wouldn't truly compare this competition to what Marilyn Monroe went through in her early career, but I could see how a 16-year-old girl could easily say "that's exactly how I feel." I hope none of the hassle or trappings get to her. She can be her own person when it's over, like it seems Kelly Clarkson has been. All in all, it was a really endearing, wonderful performance.

     James Durbin is kind of shocking me with "Saturday Night's All Right for Fighting." I don't know why he picked the song other than he had a feel for it, or maybe was pointed toward a few of the more "rock" songs. Maybe it's because of Freddie Mercury in Queen, but I always think of this as a really slammed-up gay bar glam chanter. It's not a favorite of mine, which is odd considering how much a fan of glam I am, but not too odd considering I don't really like any of Elton's "rock" forays. James definitely put an arena rock spin on it. He sounded like a mix of Bon Jovi and someone else I couldn't quite put a finger on---a lighthearted classic rock band (not The Who). His rock scream was bad this time, though. Other than that, he did an excellent job.

     Ugh, Thia Megia is singing "Daniel." Why why why? This is a poignant song, and her attempt at personally connecting it to her brother going off to college is almost sickeningly lame. I love the song, don't get me wrong. That's why I think she's shot herself in the foot before she even started. She's going with a ballad again, a ballad whose strength lies in emotion more than vocal ability, and Thia has displayed more than her fair share of woodenness and transparent stage emotion. She sang the admittedly tricky "even seen" line poorly. And in spite of Jimmy Iovine's clear warning, she's still cringeworthy with the put-on drama. The end and beginning were best, because they felt most sincere. She sang all of it well, but missed the delicacy of the most beautiful moments. It wasn't impressive enough to overcome the fact she was singing her third ballad in four weeks, and didn't show a smidge of growth.

     Casey Abrams. Oh, jeez, maybe the problem is that I really like Elton John, so all these song choices freak me out. But he's going with "Your Song," which is another staple from my itsiest bits of childhood. Not that I was alive when it was released! But it was a warm regular around me in early life. I even enjoyed the cover of it in Moulin Rouge, although I don't think Ewan McGregor, cute as he is, had the right voice to sing it anywhere but in a scene like that. But they made some lovely changes to it there. 

     So, back to Casey. It looks like they actually did trim his beard a little. But it should have been mown right off. He has one of the more disgusting beards I've ever seen, in terms of hair texture. I think it's curly/wavy haired guys who end up with the grossest beards. It's less offensive now that it's shorter, but I think it was obvious that the advice Rodney Jergens gave him was to shave it completely so people could see his face, see him. He said "get rid of the beard." That means shave it off. But of course Casey's hiding behind it, so all he can do is trim it. Not enough. Not enough, because it's still there, hair instead of face. 

     I didn't like the in-throat endings to some of the words, but other than that, I thought Casey did well with it. It wasn't super special, though, and that's a song that even after all this time knowing it, still routinely gives me all kinds of goosebumps. I agree with Randy that it was tender, and I certainly think Casey deserves to stay over many who are left, but I prefer other performances. And I really think he should have shown his appreciation for being saved by shaving the beard off like he was advised to. I see his dad has a beard as well, but you can't base your look on daddy, especially when you look nothing like him. 

     Jacob Lusk has made a strange decision to sing "Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word" even though we've heard it several times this season (seems like a million). Jacob looks a lot more polished after his makeover. I agree with Jimmy's advice again: he'd better not overdramatize. He started off in a woman's range again, but amazingly, he sang with complete emotional restraint compared to his usual. Impressive, for him. It's all restrained except for his face, and unfortunately, the bodily restraint seems to be taking a toll there in some very unflattering ways. But the song was okay. It was good. It just wasn't WOW. The judges show their uselessness again, giving a bunch of compliments. Even when they give useful information, it's so draped in flattery I could see if the contestants weren't aware of how crucial it was to listen to it.

     Haley Reinhart freaks me out again, choosing "Bennie and the Jets." Why would you choose a song with a stutter? You know you're not going to be able to do it right! And I guess the makeover truck missed her? But her dress is super cute. It gives her a Splashy mermaid look. After about two lines, I said "she should go." But then she started doing some crazy and impressive stuff, and I had to reconsider. The start was bad, her dancing was awful, she's cheesy baby beauty pageant hell, but the last three quarters of the song were pretty amazing for what we're working with this season. This was one time the growling sort of worked for me, and even though the B-B-B was rough, as expected, it's always going to be unless you're Elton John. I think this was her best performance on the live show.

Tonight's ranking:
1) Lauren

2) James (just inching out Haley, based on performance quality, since he didn't stagger around like a lounge singer marinated in the sauce)

3) Haley

4) Casey

5) Pia

6) Scotty

7) Jacob

8) Thia

9) Stefano

10) Paul

11) Naima

Who should go? It's two this week, so Naima and Paul, followed up by Stefano. I'd give Thia one more chance.
Who I want to stay: My top six, maybe minus Haley, because I don't know if she could do better. But I think she's safe anyway.
Who I'd bet on: My top seven.

American Idol Season 10 - The Top 11 Hit Motown

     Well, I didn't think Karen Rodriguez was that bad last week, but she wasn't going anywhere significant anyway. We elbow, elbow, wrist wrist wrist wave goodbye to her.

     This week the contestants are performing songs from Motown, which can be a great thing as long as they choose the right songs. Interscope interference has helped them quite a bit on that.

     Casey Abrams may not have been totally helped with "I Heard It Through the Grapevine." For the second week in a row, he seems headed down a path away from my tastes. The start of the arrangement wasn't great, and the rest didn't seem like the song was a sincere match for him anyway. The actual delivery wasn't bad, but it didn't feel organic and soulful, and I think that's something he really needs to successfully reach an audience. Through the briers and thatchery of his beard. 

     Really, Casey's not doing himself favors in the looks department. He's only getting worse. He's got the look of a wimpy Meathead, with extra creepy beard. Slicking his head hair so it droops greasily into his face only serves to make his beard look more pubic by comparison. Truly revolting. He looks like the sad, backward nerd in the dirty t-shirt. All he needs is a lonely room and a computer.  Engage, Casey! Look at where you are and be it! Don't be Joaquin Phoenix trying to get attention in a faux documentary. 

     I wonder if he thinks he has to keep the beard because he's a little overweight. But he's barely overweight. He does have a round, probably chubby face, but who cares? The beard doesn't hide anything, and it doesn't fool us into thinking he's chiseled under there. It only makes him look sloppy, and more like the guys who think they can camouflage fatness with a beard. Beards do not camouflage fat. Those carefully outlined designer 'burns/goatee sets don't, either (we all can see that's not your jawline). If you're overweight, a beard just makes you look like a) one of the aforementioned mad or homeless, b) you're insecure about your roundness, or c) you're a lazy ass in both body and grooming. I do have the deepest empathy for lazy asses, being one myself. But if I'm interacting with non-family people on even the most basic level, I'm not going to let myself be a lazy ass about my appearance. Show some pride, and what's more, show some creativity! You're an artist! Be an artist in the you you present to the world! Not too much of an artist, though. We don't need those crazy Kids Incorporated primary color cardigans like the one Thia Megia repeatedly wore in auditions. 

     I'll get back to the rundown now. But really, Casey, I like you. I think you have incredible talent. So show a little raw power and poise by sporting something that shows an outward you equalling your talent. 

     Okay, so here's Thia Megia, thankfully not in that hideous sweater. Really, I hope that thing was just a lucky article of clothing, and not something she really liked. The only places it could work are The Disney Channel or a preschool.

     Thea sang "Heat Wave" really well, with a minimum of vibrato, but like Casey, the song didn't seem like a sincere match to her inner self. The arrangement could have been modernized quite a bit more. More importantly, Thia could have younged up the action a little. She reminded me of a desperate music teacher trying to get her students excited. "Ta, ta, ti-ti ta!" But her voice sounded good. 

     Jacob Lusk has the stunningly passionate "You're All I Need to Get By." I think this was his best and most commercial performance since "God Bless the Child" in auditions. He didn't do too much la-di-da-ing with his voice, he just sang it. I could definitely do with less vibrato-trilly, and there's still an androgynous quality there that I find hard to place in terms of marketing, but it's the direction I've been waiting for him to regain.

     Lauren Alaina was effortlessly perfect with "You Keep Me Hanging On." In fact, it kind of annoyed me that she was so incredible when someone else had to choose the song for her. I understand that it's near impossible for 15/16 year-olds to know every genre of music, but you should at least have a sprinkling, a passing knowledge of the basic bigs. Or maybe there shouldn't be 15 and 16-year-olds in the competition. If you haven't thoroughly explored music, will you really know who you are musically? Unless you're a prodigy, inventing your own sound. Lauren definitely has a clear sense of who she wants to be as an artist, which is much better than the amorphous Thia, but who knows what more Lauren could be if she knew more, had heard more? I think in her specific case, she's got enough to work with who she is. But I don't think there will be many cases like her, and it would be a shame to see the 15/16s get dropped every year because they haven't had enough time or musical experience to know who they want to be artistically. 

     Stefano Langone inexplicably chose "Hello," probably because he's possibly more musically ignorant than the 15/16s, because huh? Although Lionel Richie is obviously a majorly Motown artist, to choose "Hello" is a cheat away from the Motown sound, which really is the theme if you're going to do a Motown week. He might as well have done "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday." But I'm sure Stefano chose it because it's the only one he knew and felt he could sing in his telenovellatic dramatic air. 

     Jimmy Iovine gave Stefano some advice he's needed for a long time. The open eyes advice was also key. Unfortunately, it seems Stefano has a really hard time keeping his eyes open even if he's been told he should. He also tilts his head and looks up or away too much. He overdoes that kind of pained drama at the expense of connecting with the audience or treating the song well. He also overdoes the singing flair at the expense of relating any true emotion in the song. Instead, it seems he's playing the part of some fiery latin singer (I don't even know if he is latin---he sounded like he had some weird accent in parts of this song, not Spanish). He was okay, but it was very melodramatic, very cheesemonger, very fake. 

     Haley Reinhart is singing "You Really Got A Hold on Me," which I really love and hope she doesn't screw up. But a lot of the singing seems to be left to the backup singers. I'm disappointed, because not only did she go back to the ridiculous growling, she's leaning this way and that like a wandering drunk, and just doing more tricks than singing. 

     I agree the end was better than the beginning, but in the rehearsal tape, it sounded like she was going to do a countryesque version, which seemed interesting to me. At least it wasn't babyvoiced this time.

     Scotty McCreery has me a little worried at his selection, "For Once in My Life." But whoa! For Once in My Life, country! Maybe I'm excited. 

     It was excellent, and very "awwww. . . ." Very sincere, very sweet, and believably passionate. His stage performance is a little humorously goofy, but if he toned down the cliché looks a little, it'd be perfect. 

     Pia Toscano selected "All in Love in Fair," which is such a magical song, but I don't know how I see it working for her. It sounded like the violin was off key at the start, and Pia was slightly wobbly as she began. She grew into strength, with some unbelievable Celine Dion-esque displays. And of course she looked beautiful. She had a little too much vibrato in her voice again, and at points nervousness with it. Why? She a gorgeous girl, and a great singer. Maybe she's just wishy-washy at heart. I agree with what Jennifer Lopez said also, about presence. I heard the Celine too, as I mentioned, so yes, you need to see a little of the "I'm the perfect singer, on a plane far above, worship me, I'm the boss." I also agree with Randy that I'd like to see some variation. 

     For the first time, this performance gave me a bit of worry that Lauren has a serious competitor. But I think Lauren's got a far more winning personality, and way more innate originality and verve than Miss Pia. 

     Paul McDonald uses "The Tracks of My Tears" to do the best job he's done since auditions, but I still don't understand this dude. While speaking, he doesn't pronounce words the way he does in his songs, so it sounds like when he sings, he's imitating someone else (Rod Stewart?), or some kind of accent. If it were natural, that would be fine, but it sounds weird because it's obviously put on, or he has some sort of miscommunication between brain and mouth while he sings. At least the guitar kept him from his usual freak dance. 

     Naima Adedapo is doing "Dancing in the Streets." The song was not her oddest choice. This is a singing competition, and while performance is part of it, sticking a dance performance on the end was a bizarre decision. It was fun to watch, but she should have concentrated on the song more. She oversang (her voice sounded pushed), her breathing barely kept up the lines, and she looked less pretty by way of extreme desperation. She also should have tried to update the song a little. It's the song and the singing that is paramount. She's really screwing herself. She had potential. Getting weird and off the point isn't the way to use it. I'm sick of seeing her waste the opportunity. 

     James Durbin surprised me with "Living for the City." It was a lot of fun. His voice wasn't quite on until near the end, but he was confident, interesting, and entertaining. His hair looked weird, and I'd still cut down (or out) the screaming, but I thought a little of it worked for this song. 

Tonight's ranking was done in tiers, because I felt like it was too hard to delineate between too many of the individual performances:

1st tier) Lauren & Pia

2nd tier) Jacob & Scotty

3rd tier) James, Casey, and Thia

4th tier) Paul, Haley, and Stefano

5th tier) Naima

Who should go? Naima. Sorry. One good performance since you reached finalist might have changed my mind, but there's just been weirdness and nonsense. Who else? Paul, Stefano, and Haley, in that order. 

Who I'd bet on: My first 2 tiers, plus James. That's also who I'd like to stay, although I'd also like to see Casey do what I'd hoped he would. He hasn't gone as far into left field as Naima, so I'm still feeling we could see him deliver. He just has to be as confident as he pretends to be, because he should legitimately be even more confident than that!

American Idol Season 10 - Top 12 Finalists Perform Songs from the Years They Were Born

     Properly, Ashthon was eliminated. She was clearly a waste as a finalist contestant/wildcard pick. It's too bad they chose her rather than someone more deserving. 

     This week the contestants shock viewers by choosing songs from the years they were born and displaying how frighteningly young they are. And so many of them are young and not musically informed, which is sad and not right if they're going to consider themselves musicians.

     Naima Adedapo is singing "What's Love Got to Do with It" this week. For the second week in row, I don't like her song choice, because it again doesn't employ a lot of singing. She got her on her voice. If she doesn't show it off, nobody's going to vote for her. This performance is even worse, because the parts she does sing are heavily mixed with background vocals. The end was totally incongruous, and the song itself was chanty and weird. She didn't sound bad, but it wasn't good. 

     I'm still confused about the general sound this season. It's really poor, and there's too much interfering production. 

     Paul McDonald has chosen "I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues," a song I used to love when I was little. I was steeped in earlier Elton John, but this one was the first I felt was all my own. I guess the other people in my family didn't like it as much, or it didn't get as much radio airplay. I know it got a fair amount, but compared with some Elton on the radio in the '70s, not as much. It did get a lot of play on MTV, which didn't go unnoticed by me. 

     I don't know where the Paul from the auditions went, but this guy is not good. His voice is too faint, even understanding the little hoarseness they warned us about. He's off key, and seemed like he was trying to march it out. Plus, dude, you really need to shave. You're only 27, you easily look 44. 

     Paul's song reinforces another issue I have with the production this season: the songs are too fast and rushed in addition to sounding awful. Whoever is doing the producing is doing a terrible job. 

      Thia Megia chose "Colors of the Wind" from Pocahontas. I wish it weren't Disney, or this type of song, even though I actually think this is a nice Disney song that crosses over into "normal." Jesus! I just realized this is from the year she was born! That's disgusting. She's too young. Get this girl out of here. 

     She looked nervous, and had a touch too much vibrato in her voice for me, but otherwise, this was a very good performance. For this crowd of contestants, it was stellar! 

     Randy's got the critique right, in a way, but there's so few contestants with vocal talent this year that even boring stands out because it may be boring but it's actually good as well. 

     James Durbin brings us back to a reasonable birth era with "I'll Be There for You" by Bon Jovi. He's an exception to the absence of talent. He started off slightly lukewarm and extra Bon Jovi imitative in vocal tone. The performance was nowhere near Bon Jovi, who've got a way with a crowd, but it was pretty cute. It wasn't super-terrific, but it was fun and good. Except for the silly ending. Everyone has to stop throwing in those quick "fancied-up" endings. 

     Haley  Reinhart is going with "I'm Your Baby Tonight." Yes, she's way too old to be the baby voice she so often is---like tonight! Her voice sounds just like a child's. In spite of that and her excessive use of the gross growl, she's almost perfectly on and on-key throughout her performance tonight. The end was great; a terrific Sade-esque sound. The being on key immediately puts her in a better position in my estimation, even though I don't really like her. 

     Stefano Langone claims he chose "If You Don't Know Me By Now." But I don't think all these kids are really picking these songs. If Stefano had truly picked his, he'd know the lyrics at least well enough to understand the emphasis of meaning, and not be repeatedly criticized for not remembering what he should know. 

     In his performance, Stefano does too much with his lips, and with dramatics in general, closed eyes and pained looks---and he does it all at the expense of delivering his song into the microphone. Worse than that, even though he sings decently and in spite of the theatrics, he doesn't seem honest and sincere in what he's singing/saying. He performed pretty well vocally, but there was no connection, soul, or meaning. It was also pretty choppy: the phrasing was just wrong. It was another factor cutting all the meaning and emotion. Still, Stefano is likable, and I think the young girls will vote for him. 

     Pia Toscano is singing Whitney Houston's "Where Do Broken Hearts Go?" I used to like to sing this one when I was little, but I think it's one of her less exciting numbers. But it's good for not going too crazy with runs or extended notes. And it has a little drama, which Pia could use.

     She immediately wins me over with he Olivia Newton-John silky genie pantsuit. They're terribly unflattering, but they would be on anyone but Olivia Newton-John, so it doesn't matter. It's like a Barbie outfit. It's a little on the outlandish and less classy side, and not going to flatter you unless you're sticklike. But it looks so fun. It's endearing, and makes me want that outfit, ghastly as it would be on me. 

     The dance beat in the song was dumb, but luckily Pia's singing overcame it. It also overcame the de rigeur dumb rushy-rush production. I don't know if the drama could have come through better with the stupid production choices. But Pia really does need to dial it up a bit from power pretty diva voice here. I hope she gets to show some personality and verve soon. 

     Scotty McCreery plans to win over all the girls with "Can I Trust You with My Heart" by Travis Tritt. And he's got them. He's perfect. Basically, if you're looking for country, he's a dream. He's a ready-made, born star. And this week he seemed to take time to show through the performance that he really knew and understood what he was singing. He did that last week as well, but maybe better this week. I agree with the judges that I'd like to see him try some more challenging and dynamic country songs. 

     Karen Rodriguez has selected "Love Will Lead You Back" by cheesemongress Taylor Dayne. ("Tell it to ma hawt, tell me ahm the only one!") Ah, you've shown you're a class act here, Karen. And an outfit to rival the selection: Miss Rodriguez appears ready for Star Trek circa 1967. I don't know why, because this isn't the 1989 to Karen. To her, 1989 was apparently "bright colors and preppy clothes." I don't know where she was in 1989. 1989 was hip-hop, metal, hippieish, or Betsey Johnson flower power. Since you were only born then, I'll give you a pass, but if you don't know what you're talking about, shut up, eh? You're mixing together other much earlier years and phases of the '80s. 

     So I hate Taylor Dayne, and I hate this song, and I can't believe this schlock made it to number one after Appetite was released, but whatever. Karen does a good job, if a little thin and vibrato-nervous, at turning Taylor Dayne into Celine Dion---until she gets to the singing in spanish part again. BOring. You don't have to do that in every song, Karen. You're not on Telemundo, and we aren't grading you on being bilingual. It was a little faint/quiet (is it the sound system? I'd like to know already!), but not bad. Especially compared to her other performances. I felt a little more reality and sincerity from her here, less canned news hair.

     Casey Abrams has hilarious parents, and has made a truly devastating song choice in "Smells Like Teen Spirit." I feel like I could fill a page with "I don't know why he did it. Why did he do it? I don't know why he did it. Why did he do it?" I was concerned as soon as they said he was doing it, then more concerned when it sounded like Louie Louie in the pre-performance bundle. But at the same time, I admit I was intrigued at how it was going to come off without being an imitation. 

     And. . . it was by being an imitation. A bad one. Like a scary wedding singer. This was the worst performance I'd seen from him yet. Worst of all, I know he must take the song seriously, but it almost came off like sarcastic mockery. His bass was also not spot on. It sounded like your bass teacher (okay, like mine). The shitty iTunes visualizer backgrounds (so much worse this season) did him no favors, either. It was like a bad, Solid Gold performance of a Nirvana song, totally lacking truth or sincere passion and desperation. A nightmare that made you pity him but still want to cover your eyes and ears.

     Lauren Alaina has another perfect song choice with "I'm the Only One" by Melissa Etheridge. I was looking forward to it, because I love this song. In her other songs, I often find Melissa's voice too monotone, and/or uniformly deep and gruff (for my taste). So I was especially looking forward to Lauren's take on this higher, more melodic showcase of Ms. Etheridge's voice. 

     Hmm. . . there was another M.E. song I really liked. . . it was one of the many they used in Where the Day Takes You, which I used to love! Haven't seen that in a few years. I should watch it again. So maybe "Precious Pain" or "You Can Sleep While I Drive." It's only a little sickening that these songs, and the movie, came out before Lauren Alaina was born. When did I get old? Well, at least she could only barely, and quite scandalously, be my daughter.

     I don't really like the runs on the "you"s, and it sounds a teensy bit messy, but she's again the most complete performer of the night: vocals + performance. And even though you could hear a little flu, or maybe even moreso nerves about the flu, the vocals were strong and she was awesome. Plus, I loved her top. Before I realized it was leopard and not crochet. I'm old, the eys are going. 

     Jacob Lusk is doing "Alone" by Heart, always scary as a prospect. But it could work. Immediately, it's obvious they're rushing him in the production sound. But he comes through that strong and fine. Only his yell was a smidge off. The rest of the actual song was good, but like last week, I feel like they have him start off a song and then send him into some breakdown gospel jam on it rather than singing it through. i think Randy and Jennifer had things very well said on the matter. 

     

Tonight's ranking: 

1) Lauren

2) Scotty

3) Pia

4) Jacob

5) Thia

6) James

7) Karen

8) Haley

9) Stefano (I had trouble deciding between 8 & 9 for these two) 

10) Casey

11) Naima

12) Paul

Who should go? Paul, because that was inexcusable and he's just not showing up. A couple of the cheesers (Stefano, Karen) should go as well, but Paul's really the most serious offender at this point. 

Who do I most want to stay? My top 6

Who would I bet on staying? My top 4, plus James. 

American Idol Season 10 - Top 13 Finalists - Your Personal Idol

     Although I was pleased with most of the voted-upon spots in the top 10, I was extremely disappointed with who the judges chose as the possible wildcards, and the way they awarded those spots. Lauren Turner definitely should have gotten a wildcard spot, and I think the reason the judges didn't even choose her to try for it is because they were biased against her looks. I don't think she's particularly attractive, but that's my personal opinion. And you can do a lot to make someone look more attractive---she seemed headed that way. Instead, they choose Ashthon and Stefano? Whatever. Naima shows promise, as long as she plays to her strengths. We'll see how she delivers.

     Tonight the theme is "your personal idols:" each contestant chooses a song by a personal idol.

     Lauren Alaina has chosen "Any Man of Mine," by Shania Twain. I can certainly see her connection there as a personal idol, so it's a fine choise in spite of my preference for a little more substance. Shania Twain is talented enough to use the amount of flash she does. Lauren started off a little monotone, but she has such a cool voice it's a pleasure to hear. She then took control and nearly slayed the song utterly. It was a tiny bit low-energy in the performance aspect, but I could see nerves contributing to that a little. She probably has the producers already hounding her to lose the 5 pounds of derriere she could be shaking instead. But stars do have to deal with pressure, so I guess this is part of her training. 

     I agree with the judges: I'd like to see her really push herself to extreme lengths. She was working with Don Was, for heaven's sake. I also didn't like that "thank you" ending before there was even applause. It's a very country thing to do, and saying it before the applause even starts is a very amateur thing to do. 

     As soon as I heard Casey Abrams in his promo, I started dreading what he was going to do. First off, I don't particularly like Joe Cocker. I guess he's fine. But he sings other people's songs in an established style, and that's how he's made his name. That and being freaky. It's just not admirable to me. Maybe I've also heard a few stories that make me think poorly of him. I also hate it when a contestant only talks about the artist who has done the cover version of the song. You're already singing a cover. . . don't you think you should be singing your own cover? In the style of you? But okay, you want to base it on someone else's twist. Just acknowledge the real thing too. That would have been better than mentioning The Wonder Years. I'm sure your musician parents are embarrassed, Casey. 

     When Casey came out, he started "With A Little Help from My Friends" like he was trying to be an R&B singer. He picked up and moved away from that, and then he was pretty good. You could hear some nice rock & roll in his voice, and it would be cool to see him capitalize on that in the future, rather than staying the nerdy music-lovin' art house beatnik. His high bits were refreshing, and showed breadth you don't hear in Joe Cocker. 

     Casey's definitely amazingly talented, but his Rob Reiner looks and the schtick of being against the "normal" AI grain is going to get old. Instead of only showing how you're different, why don't you at least once show how you could be the same, but better? Maybe that's the plan. But he'd better break it out quick, because voters will side with the quirky getting in, but then you have to wow to compete with the pop wows. 

     Ashthon Jones the non-deserver has gotten a lot of production on her voice, easily heard in  various parts of her promo reel. Maybe the producers felt they couldn't so badly misuse Diana Ross's "When You Tell Me That You Love Me." But there is no disguising how much Ashthon sucks as she starts her performance; wavery, off-key, and eating her microphone. 

     Ugh. And the audience claps. Are they being polite? There were moments of okay, but this was a mess. And I don't even think Ashthon is as attractive as I'd thought she was before. Once again, Jennifer Lopez focuses on appearance and promotion versus the quality of singing. 

     Paul McDonald, who looks so '80s, cracks me up. He stood out as an entertaining goofball in the opening tonight. I think it would be more fun if he were singing Bryan Adams, but okay, Ryan Adams's "Come Pick Me Up" is his choice. I like a lot of aspects of Paul's voice, given what I saw in the auditions, and last week. This song showed none of those aspects, and mostly just sounded off key. Plus, he danced like a drunk lady doing the hokey-pokey. That was awful. 

     Steven and Jennifer are basically useless, but JLo at least had some constructive criticism, guised in praise of edginess. "I hope America gets it. I don't." She explained that away a little by saying she didn't know Ryan Adams, but Jennifer, really, you wouldn't have to know an artist to "get" a performance, would you?

     At this point I break to say I don't understand what the bearded contestants are doing or thinking. Are they hiding disfiguring injuries under there? Look around, guys. There's a reason why beards aren't as popular as they once were. Or do some research---it's light stubble that wins the day, psychosocially speaking. Although in my opinion, stubble may look okay, but it feels like splinters, so I pity the ladies with men sporting the Hollywood perpetual 5 o'clock shadow. But the fact is (so say modern studies) that the heavily bearded look reads older, less attractive, and more aggressive. Is that what they're going for? Paul shouldn't want to look older, because he already looks older than 28, the AI cutoff age. Casey may want to look older, but he's got the wild artist thing going on as well, so I think he has to choose one, because although I don't know the studies on it, to the people I've known, beard plus the artsy-wildies often yields the conclusion of "crazy." As in, that cool artsy guy you know has gone into some crazy funk and whilst funking, he's grown a Manson beard. Then again, it could also be laziness: one of the first bearded acquaintances I had used to eat pizza from a box propped on his chest several times a week, and that was definitely a discussed possibility when the girls would wonder why he had a beard. (It was also discussed as a reason why he'd want to shave---pizza beard couldn't wear well, could it?) But in Casey's instance it translates more like the crazy than the lazy. Casey, I understand you want to be that 1968 hip cat, but look at Procul Harem: no beards.

     I'm not saying that bearded men are by rule unattractive---Jason Patric had one in Rush, right? I think that was the role in which I found him most appealing. Although he was a heroin junkie. And Ryan Reynolds in The Amityville Horror remake. Although he was possessed/crazy in that one. . . hmm. I am in no way saying that a beard inarguably connotes madness or laziness. But what I said above is accurate: post-1970s, it's not favored, and I do think those connotations are part of the issue with the recent/present social reaction to/acceptance of beards. I think it likely has to do with changes in the 20th century: the modern ease of shaving (so there is no question that it is simple, safe, and not costly to shave); modern attitudes toward cleanliness and bacteria; and probably most important, the fact that from the 1980s on, there was quite a bit of attention focused on bettering the treatment of the mentally ill and the homeless. Before, those groups were often either relegated to areas where people simply ignored them, or carted off to institutions (prison or health) where people ignored them. In the 1980s and beyond, the public was inundated with the previously "forgotten" downtrodden and exploited: the mad and homeless. Usually bearded. Of course, this paragraph is all my unresearched conjecture. It could just as easily have something to do with fashion or fabrics. But I have to finish this post, so I can't look all this up now. It's someone else's thesis to cover.

     Back to AI. I think Interscope is interfering way too much with the artists' productions. Jimmy Iovine is to be respected, and I did always love that Raspberries sweatshirt my mom lived in while doing housework when I was a little girl. But there's help, there's direction, and then there's steering and control. If you steer and control the contestants, we're not getting a true picture of who they really are. 

     Ugh! Again, Pia Toscano does the "cover artists gets credit" promo for "All By Myself." There is no mention of Eric Carmen, probably because Pia has never heard of him and no one has bothered to educate her. Ahem, Pia, please note this raggedy Raspberries sweatshirt. . . 

     Okay, so Pia should have mentioned Eric Carmen, since it's his song, but she's busy swooning over Celine Dion, her personal idol, who has nothing to do with the song other than having sung a rather straightforward version of it. 

     In the verses, Pia's got too much vibrato and peppers in unnecessary runs, which is just what bothered me with her in the Hollywood rounds. And it ends up shorting her on the really important power moments, leaving the song with less undulating momentum. But it was still a good job. She sounded good.

     "Maybe I'm Amazed" is a favorite song of mine, so the idea of anyone doing it is a little scary to me, even though I like James Durbin. I don't know what Jimmy Iovine was talking about, either. 

     Unfortunately, even though James is competent here, I only find myself thinking this song makes his voice sound weaker and more feminine, and that he's no Paul McCartney. James sounds much better in the deeper range, which isn't most of the song, just the beginning and ending. Also, in spite of his comments in the promo introduction, there wasn't much new or different in the productions, at least not in the live performance. 

     Haley Reinhart is singing a song I used to love to sing, "Blue," by LeAnn Rimes. Such a gorgeous song. But Haley looked uncomfortable with her producers, and she went right off key in the "Blue" warble/yodel and repeated it---I guess she doesn't think it's off key. Apart from that and the silly growling, she was pretty great. But the growling has to stop. She sounds like she's in a southern Little Miss pageant. And this girl doesn't have the right pipes to yodel sweetly; hers is more of a haunting electro changeover sound. Her dress was really nice, and she looked much classier than usual, which is saying a lot for her.

     Jacob Lusk goes with R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly," because everyone idolizes a pedophile. Really, Jacob---it's personal idol week! Couldn't you have saved his song for another week? 

     Jacob's another party guilty of too much vibrato and warble. He also sounded kind of shouty and off key in some of this one. And I didn't get the long stretch of Tarzany "aahhhhhh"-ing. But I liked the beginning, where he sounded slightly more sedate and masculine than usual. I wonder if people are making Antony comparisons for him. I don't read any other commentary on the show (at least until it gets much farther along), but I've been thinking that since his Hollywood week performance. It must be widespread. My sister disagrees. 

     I think Steven and JLo are nuts in praising this so much. Randy is marginally better. Jacob's performance didn't sound like a song to me so much as a few lines followed by shrieking. 

     I don't know if it's a great idea for Thia Megia to sing Michael Jackson's version of "Smile." Worse still to let on to the viewing public that she doesn't know Charlie Chapman---oh, Charlie Chaplin, you say? She should have at least talked about Nat King Cole. The ignorance is horrifying, and immediately reveals her as false: she claims to love the song, but you don't love something if you don't know enough to learn anything about it. Even if I hear a song once and half-like what I heard, it drives me crazy if I can't find out who sang it and more. So she doesn't love "Smile." Last week she got told her tone was like Michael Jackson's, so she picked a song he sang and unfortunately it was a cover. 

     She did sing it well, and she's got a beautiful voice. It was a little strange, more so in the second half. Of course, the judges don't care. I'm sick of them rating on potential rather than performance. How is that fair? Of course, they're trying to direct the viewer votes. But they should let the artist know some of the truth as well, otherwise it's going to hurt them in the long run. 

     Stefano Langone has a cool voice, but he doesn't use it to its fullest effect in this song. I'm sure it's his fault, but the song sounds pretty shite also. He was off and on, but he's shown he has ability

     OH MY GOD! That was the song he was singing?! Stevie Wonder's "Lately." No way. I retract my above comment. Somehow I missed the mention of the song, and I was thinking it was one I didn't know---that's how bad he was. He murdered that song, and not in a good way. Shivers. Must get away from this asap. 

     I don't understand why so many of the singers are starting or going off key. Karen Rodriguez is not wretched with Selena's "I Could Fall in Love," but she's not exceptional. She's best in between the first and second choruses, and at the end. Overall, she comes across as seventh-rate Disney---the understudy of the theme park show performer.

    Scotty McCreery, doing "The River" by Garth Brooks, was so lucky to get Don Was, and awesome to know and appreciate it. Scotty's got a pretty perfect country music voice. I think all he's got to do is tone down the cheese and relate more emotionally deep sincerity. I don't think this is his competition to win, but he's excellent in what he does, and should be catapulted to success. 

     Naima Adedapo is singing the total crap song "Umbrella" by disposable, forgettable artist Rihanna. Why is she your idol, Naima? Because it doesn't seem like you've modeled yourself on her in any way, or been inspired by her in the slightest. Not surprising, but the girl does offer some fashion, which is definitely a note Naima could take. Again, they say the song will be "hers" (Naima's), but don't do anything of note with it. In fact, it just sounded choppier.

     Naima got breathless, and cut off the stops and starts of her lines a bit, but otherwise she did an okay job on a throwaway song. It's too bad, because she has a great voice and could try to do amazing things with it, but she was only passing tonight. 

      Jennifer, as usual, doesn't care about the music, just the look. Randy had it very well said. 

     Even though there are three others below her on my ranking tonight, I think Ashthon should go, because she hasn't ever shown that she could do as well as others in this group have. If not her, Paul or Jacob, only because Jacob isn't showing the proper versatility. He does have skill and talent. It's too bad about Karen---as I thought, she couldn't hear herself. But she's still definitely not the worst. There aren't too many truly worse than she is, but she should still be okay this round.

Tonight's ranking: 

1) Lauren

2) Casey

3) James

4) Scotty

5) Thia

6) Pia

7) Haley

8) Karen

9) Naima

10) Ashthon

11) Jacob

12) Paul

13) Stefano

Who should go: Ashthon.

Who I want to stay: My top 6, plus Naima.

Who I'd bet on staying: My top 4, plus Karen. 

American Idol Season 10 - The Top 12 Girls Perform

Well, I'm much less concerned with the women, because I only really like one of them, Lauren Alaina. A couple others are okay, but I'm not too keen on anyone in particular (insert possible yet).

Ta-Tynisa Wilson should not have made it through. Her performance was okay, but breathy and nothing special. Actually, it was alternately breathy and shouty, and her second to last "girl in the world" was seriously off key. i agreed with Jennifer's comment: "It's good that it's over now."

Naima Adedapo dresses like a crazy home sewer set loose in an Indian and flamenco dancer store. And I wrote that before she said she designed her dress herself. But hey, Stevie Nicks. Who are we to judge. Naima's arrangement is a little weird, a bit lighthearted for the song in an old-fashioned way. This is a weird year at AI. The actual vocals were pretty good. With a makeunder and the right direction, she could go far. Hair cut off, less oddity drama, no sewn-from-table-linens outfits, could all work big time.

Kendra Chantelle was okay, nothing special. She's good, but empty. Her stage presence detracts from her even more: the sway, touch chest, reach out, bobble head, and repeat is very R&Boring. I didn't think she'd even be chosen, and she may be only just realizing what she can do, which could be too late to really have a handle on herself.

What's weird is that the girls are sounding so much better (in terms of audio handling), it seems like the producers are trying to make it a girls' year even though in the auditions there were so many more strong guys.

Rachel Zevita needed to work on that arrangement more to be comfortable with her show/presence. It was like a weird cocktail burlesque version of "Criminal." Strikingly odd. Almost jaw-droppingly weird. And it's too bad, because I really liked her, and liked her weirdness. But not this.

Karen Rodriguez brings the super-safe song choice, plus exploitation of her Latina-ness. In spite of the Spanish (or maybe in addition, sub French), with the dress and hair, it was all very pageanty Celine Dion. She has a pretty high register, but she's boring. Miss America Newscaster.

Lauren Turner looks surprisingly at ease in the cocktail dress, in spite of seeming a little like a butch feminist. I can see Jennifer Lopez makes assessments mostly on the superficial: the only similarities this girl has to Bette Midler are her figure, nose, and curls. She has an amazing voice and sang very well, but I've never heard that song, and I don't think she's physically appealing enough to anyone to make it. Randy did her a huge favor in that department with his critique, bringing in the Amy Winehouse comparison. And her banter showed a fun, likable side of her. I hope it's enough to win her a place her voice deserves. But remember we saw zip of her in auditions. Never a good sign.

Ashton Jones is pretty and an able singer, but she's a contestant type we've seen a million times before, and several times much better. Tonight her expressions were a little scary intense, and she veered off pitch here, there, lots of wheres. Another okay performance.
Jennifer Lopez's take is annoying. All the makings of a diva---hair, body, composure! Yes, that's all a diva needs, Jennifer. Forget the talent.

Julie Zorrilla seemed to be suffering from some of the boys' sound problems. I think "Break Away" was a poor song choice because so much of it is monotone and/or has little melody movement. It has a few breakaway (no pun, but not going to waste my time rephrasing) bits, but it's more the bad choice you make at karaoke and then realize you didn't really get to sing. So it didn't showcase her voice at all. She's very pretty, but she didn't come out impressively. It reminded me of hearing the song in the grocery store, and she reminded me of the pretty dark-haired Barbie (Whitney).

Haley Reinhart is hit or miss for me. She has amazing ability, but then she goes all gross and crazy a lot, and tries to hard. the gravelly is not good on her. She should cut that out entirely. Along with that is the weird thing she does on, for example, her line "and at times I feel used." You--ooo--oooe is not "used." She also often sings in a baby voice. All together, it's creepy. How old is she, anyway? It feels like watching a little girl being exploited. Apart from the creep factor, she was decently good, sweet, and gave an individual performance. There was a little too much baby, but at least less of the growly I hate.

Thia Megia has a terrific voice, but she's always sounded very high school musical to me. Real high school musical, not the movie. Not tonight. She sounded very radio-friendly, extremely mature. One or two notes off key, but otherwise brilliant and timeless in several ways. Also a gorgeous dress. She also stands as a model of the ballad that is not from the talent portion of the pageant. The judges got it completely, except for Randy, who in this case is off his rocker comparing her to Michael Jackson. I was trying to figure out who she reminded me of, and I landed more near Linda Ronstadt.

Lauren Alaina has the voice and attitude of someone already recording. She seemed like the performer who comes on after the competition. I agree with Steven Tyler that she's clearly the best.

Whoops! there's someone else? Is it even necessary? Too bad for Pia having to follow that. Especially as a pretty but wavery.

Pia Toscano chose one of my favorite songs ("I'll Stand By You") and did enough interesting things with it to show she either loves it, knows what she's doing, or both. So she's landed higher than ever before with me tonight. This is the best she's done. But I think her standing O and general reaction had a lot to do with amazement that she could hold up against Thia and Lauren.


Tonight's ranking:

1) Lauren Alaina
2) Thia Megia
3) Pia Toscano
4) Lauren Turner
5) Naima Adedapo
6) Haley Reinhart
7) Rachel Zevita
8) Kendra Chantelle
9) Karen Rodriguez
10) Ashthon Jones
11) Julie Zorrilla
12) Ta-Tynisa Wilson

Who I'd want to stay, based on everything: Lauren Alaina, Thia, Pia, Lauren Turner, Rachel, Naima.

Who I'd bet on: Lauren Alaina, Thia, Pia, Ashthon.

Who should go first: Ta-Tynisa.

American Idol Season 10 - AI 2.0, Top 12 Guys Perform

Another American Idol season has started, and although initially I worried how the show could survive without Simon, I see now that totally different judges makes for a sort of AI 2.0, and it works. Steven Tyler is surprisingly animated and hilarious, while Jennifer Lopez fits well into the sympathetic Paula gap, albeit with a bias in favor of the more attractive contestants. I've also thought for a long while that the age range should be extended, but I thought up, not down. Sure, 15-year-old could have the ability to win, but they'd still have it when they're 16 or 18. But I guess we live in a youth culture, so people over 28 are corpses, and the sooner you start making money off the younger people, the more money you'll make before they're---ugh---30! Or even older! (Let's pretend we don't know how old Fergie or Gwen Stefani are. ) The 15-year-olds don't make much of a difference, really, except in making adult viewers feel ancient. Another year younger, so what. It was 24-year-old Ashthon who claimed to never have heard a Beatles song. I guess she doesn't get out much.

I think the producers could have done better with a lot more information on how the show was going to go, though. The extra rounds in the auditions were odd and didn't make a lot of sense. And cutting 24 to 10 in one shot, with only one show apart from auditions, is bizarre. It also seems a poor choice to send them onto the main stage for this huge cut---they should have done it before or after, since past seasons have shown a sharp decline when they shift to the big stage.

So I didn't know only 5 contestants would make it through from each group of guys/girls until I watched the "12 guys perform" episode---after voting had closed. It would have been helpful if they had informed the viewers about that earlier. I saw every audition episode, and there was not one word. I guess they decided it was better to not actually use the show to relate crucial information about it. Or maybe they thought it would be a nice surprise for loyal viewers to watch the competition grandly finalize 24 contestants, only to then get rid of more than half of them in one fell swoop. I, for one, say "Thanks, AI! You're dumbasses." Also, you could have done a lot more with the update to the opening credits sequence, but thank you for at least changing it a little.

Going into the top 12 guys show, I was disappointed at some of the selections, but the top picks were all in there, so I guess it wasn't as bad as it could be. Also, there weren't that many stellar guys this year. At least not in comparison to the girls. I think it's definitely a ladies' year. But I ranked the guys as I liked them pre-performance (and later, post).

1) Brett Loewenstern
2) Casey Abrams
3) Tim Halperin
4) Robbie Rosen
5) Clint Jun Gamboa (but he still seemed like a less-friendly person, so I don't know how that'll go over)
6) Jovany Barretto
7) James Durbin (who would be much more impressive if he didn't keep doing the Adam Lambert-imitative shrieks)
8) Jacob Lusk (who's only this low because his voice, while incredible, is not for popular music as he's been using it)
9) Paul McDonald
10) Scotty McCreery (only for lack of breadth, so his ranking could change drastically IF he has the capability to adapt)
11) Stefano Langano
12) Jordan Dorsey (who was a total waste to include in the top 12)

Clint Jun Gamboa chose the wrong song in "Superstition," which did little to showcase his voice other than in the "hey"s. He had too much vibrato, and unfortunately for him, looks like a humorous, nonsexy cross between an anime cartoon character and Joel Gosselin.

Jovany Barreto looks like late '80s/early '90s cheese. There's not much he could do about it, I suppose, since he's got that Stallone-y sort of look, except with itsy-bitsy features. His performance of "I'll Be" sounded weak and thin. This was also not the best choice: it does show off his voice a little, but it doesn't showcase anything unique or display special talent. Very hotel/cruise singer.

The judges, except for Randy, are plain lying, blowing smoke up their asses. Either that or Jennifer Lopez has poor taste, which is likely.

Jordan Dorsey never struck me as particularly good, even in his audition. But he had the looks and enough ability to do a sort of throwback crooner angle. So "OMG," which is arguable as a song anyway, was the worst possible choice for him. There was very little singing, mostly just uncomfortable chant-talking, and the few parts that were singing were all off key. It was awful. Really bad. And then worst of all, he admits he knew it was a mistake! He knew 7 people were getting cut, but he still chose to do a song that wasn't him, where he'd have to dance and act like a "jumpy jumpy" singer, even though he isn't. STUPID. 'I worked so hard to get here, now I can finally really screw it up! Hurray!' I don't know if I've ever seen an AI performance this bad. It was like a random civilian dancer from a 1985 episode of American Bandstand got up and tried to be DeBarge meets Rick James.

Tim Halperin was one of my favorites, but I think this was a horrible song choice, and again it sounded so thin---I don't know if it's the sound, mixing, or what. But even the faraway sound doesn't excuse this crap choice of a song. "Streetcorner Symphony" (what a laugh as a title) is one of those songs for people who can't sing to choose at karaoke. I agree with the judges that it didn't showcase him at all.

I'm a little confused. If these people really wanted to make it to American Idol, didn't they think about what songs they'd like to sing, practice, and try them out in front of small audiences? Even if you don't know exactly what they'll let you use, bet on Billboard #1s or songs previously sung on AI. So far nobody has chosen a song that makes sense to me.

Brett Loewenstern goes with another NUTCASE song choice in "Light My Fire." Do you really want to compete with Jim Morrison? Anyone? This was way weird. He was extremely feminine while singing a song famous for its über-masculine sex god male singer. But he did show off his vocals once he got going. Still, he gave such a drag queen/woman style to the delivery, it's uncomfortable and unappealing. And he needs to get more comfortable with himself. He looked like the person trying to convince himself he's cool rather than someone relaxed and confident. If it weren't for those issues, he'd be in first, but you often can't go on voice alone in Idol.

James Durbin has Tourette's and Asperger's and is extremely gifted, so I can excuse his aping of Adam Lambert for now. He's definitely a rock singer, and he made no concessions choosing "Another Thing Coming." Wow. Incredible. Truly exceptional. The best tonight by far. He looked and acted like this performance was exactly what he should be doing, even though other times I've felt like he was too put on.

Robbie Rosen returns us to the totally weird song choices. "Angel" is difficult for anyone to sing, because Sarah McLachlan is just about guaranteed to beat you. The timing also seemed off, although I think he was trying to play with it. He definitely played with the melody, to his detriment. It didn't add to the song, and he didn't show off his voice except a little falsetto trilliness. It was okay, but not as good as everything else he's done. I totally disagree with Jennifer Lopez's preference of Robbie's choices over the original! Perhaps this laps of judgment in sound is why Miss Lo hasn't been hitting the hits in recent years?

I very much agree with Randy. It seems that he's the only one who is a) conscious b) able to hear or c) comfortable being honest.

Scotty McCreery is another extremely gifted young gentleman, but so far only for country singing, so I don't see how he could win this competition unless he shows more. This isn't Nashville Star. But they should bring that back, because it was awesome, and I'm not really even a country fan. I think Scotty should still easily win a recording contract from his participation here. He's cute and hilarious in his country-ness, and is kind of '80s-country in his style with "Letters from Home." It's really terrific, but I just don't know about the pop fit.

It's weird how much I find myself agreeing with Randy. I think they used to have to play certain roles as judges with the old setup, because I often used to disagree with him, and suddenly he seems like the sharp, discerning judge, with just the right criticism.

Stefano Langone has the third of the rare fitting song choices, "Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars. His voice usually sounds thin, so the thinness tonight is just about equal to usual. But somehow that adds up to him sounding better., mostly. He's off on the 3rd-to-last "are," but otherwise this performance made him seem better than Tim, which he's not.

Paul McDonald is like Michael McDonald crossed with Kenny Loggins and now, Rod Stewart. The sound system (or the way he holds/moves his mike?) prevents his voice from coming through. But his voice was already too idiosyncratic, his musical inclinations too mature for the core AI audience. I love "Maggie May," but I'm not the AI core. But at least Paul was smart enough to pick a song he knew well: he sang this one at his audition in Nashville. He looks palsied now that we see him dancing with free rein, but hey, Taylor Hicks made it. Paul's smile makes me a little uncomfortable, like he's crazy or pervy or something. And he reminds me of someone. It's driving me nuts. Is it . . .

Bernie Coulson?

Jacob Lusk has a tough row to hoe to be "pop." And again, I guess thanks to tonight's sound people, he's echoey and hard to hear except at the starts and ends of notes. "A House is Not A Home" isn't a song that's going to grab people, even though he's talented. Like Scotty, he should garner enough attention to easily do what he does after (losing on) AI. Unless something totally new is going on---and it does seem a little new, in some show choices, but the audience is likely the same---he's too operatic and avant-garde for the AI audience.

Casey Abrams. By the time he starts, I'm scared, because my top choices are falling flat, and hard. But Casey delivers. In his promo, he said he wanted to change the AI mold, which is what I thought as soon as I saw him audition. I'm hoping the audience (voters) go for it, because he's awesome, and knows exactly what he's doing with music, in every way. He's a genius. Unfortunately, I wouldn't say the AI audience is. So I don't know how he'll go over. Or "I Put A Spell on You," even though it's classic and he's totally going Eric Burdon on it. In fact, he's so good that I don't even know if the general population could appreciate him enough to be popular. He might go right over their ears. Maybe. Maybe enough people understand good music now? If so, I'm unaware. But maybe. If not, he could release his stuff small and go the producer route to make money. It seems the place for a lot of incredible musicians is producer, because only other musicians can fully appreciate their talent, skill, and knowledge.


Tonight's ranking, based on vocals only (since the night was such a lame one), and based only on tonight, since this was the big chance:

1) James Durbin & Casey Abrams
2) Jacob Lusk
3) Paul McDonald
4) Scotty Mcreery
5) Brett Loewenstern
6) Clint Jun Gamboa
7) Jovany Barreto
8) Stefano Langone
9) Tim Halperin
10) Robbie Rosen
11) Jordan Dorsey

Who I want to stay, based on everything (auditions & tonight): James, Casey, Brett, Tim, Scotty, Clint.

Who I'd bet on as a sure thing: James, Casey.

Who should go most: Jordan. He was so bad he should go a few times, plus three.

A Night in Heaven: A Strange and Terrible Movie You Never Saw

I don't think I've done any movie reviews here, which is odd, since I've written a lot of them. But I guess I didn't feel like just throwing them in willy-nilly. This review rates an exception because it's a movie I'd always wanted to see that few others likely will ever see, so there's no need to post the review anywhere people might read it. I think it's a safe bet no one will if I post it here. Be forewarned---I guess it's as much a review as it is an exploration in hopes of answering why?, so spoilers abound.

I love a lot of the corny, cheesy movies everyone else hates or simply forgets. But there's still a basic degree of filmmaking that has to be achieved, or at least met in part, in order to qualify. A coherent plot, even if it's implausible. Some characters you get to know at least well enough to remember their names. A few exchanges or conversations that actually go somewhere. This film does not meet that criteria. I could only recommend watching it for a glimpse into the era, which you could easily do more enjoyably with other films. Otherwise, if you want to be confused and feel embarrassed for the people involved in a project, go ahead and try A Night in Heaven.

I always wanted to see this movie when I was a kid, because I loved The Pirate Movie and wanted to see other movies with Christopher Atkins (not much luck for me there; The Blue Lagoon wasn't age-appropriate either). I tried to catch it a few times on TV, but the TV editing seemed to be making a confusion of things, so I never got too far.

I finally saw the theatrical version, and it wasn't TV editing that was the problem. This is one of the strangest attempts at a movie I've ever seen. As it started, I thought perhaps I'd gotten the wrong movie. The opening is a long sequence introducing the female lead's husband Whitney (Robert Logan) as he finishes up work at Cape Canaveral and rides home on his recumbent bike. It's the first in a long collection of areas where the film gives us a bunch of information we don't need to know, rather than focusing on the story or at least delving into the minds of the main characters (which never happens). At first you don't realize you don't need the information: it seems like backstory, sidestory, the regular plot- and character-developing stuff. It will pay off when it all comes together. Unfortunately, nothing ever comes together, and the few events that do unfold are mostly in surprising contradiction to or having absolutely no sensible relation to anything we learn earlier.

I don't know if the writer originally had a much longer, more involved script, if he couldn't decide what story he wanted to tell, or if he just chose an extremely convoluted way to tell one. A major problem is that none of the characters are fleshed out enough for you to know which ones you're supposed to care about. Another problem is that the plot relies upon a series of ludicrous turning points and silly clichés. The aforementioned female lead Faye (Lesley Ann Warren) is a professor who fails her student Rick (Christopher Atkins) because he gives a smart-aleck reply to a question after he completes his mediocre, but decent final presentation. Realistically, the kid would have a strong case to take to the dean. The professor's sister Patsy (Deborah Rush) visits, does a surprise makeover and takes the professor to a male strip performance without her realizing where she's been dragged until she sees the madness. The professor isn't a teenage girl who doesn't know she can transform with clothes and makeup. And from the rest of the film, we know she's not blind, and would therefore be able to see the signs advertising the show.

But that's just the opening (well, 30 minutes) of the film. Once the unbelievable setup was in place, I expected the romance and conflict to begin. Nope. First there's some pointless rehashing of the same scenarios, wasted time, meetings and followups with characters we've never met/don't know/don't care about, and a lot of phone calls, many with no answer or conversation, just ringing. If you want to show someone 1980s phones, including several public phones and hotel house phones, this is the movie to use.

I'll describe the situation with Slick (Sandra Beall), the stripper's supposed girlfriend, as an example of the odd venture at character and plot development in this movie. Slick may herself be a stripper (not enough information to say for sure), and certainly is in a ridiculous commercial that appears to be for a strip club but apparently is for a car dealership. In spite of exposition describing her as the daughter of someone at the professor's husband's job (who cares? That information goes nowhere.) and the girlfriend of Tony's friend (at this point we don't know Tony or his friends, or that one of them is Rick the stripper, so this isn't helpful), at first I thought she was Rick's sister, since she arrives to pick him up in the morning and has a catty chat with him after watching him kiss and goodbye another girl he just slept with. And that's all we know of Slick, apart from her red hair. She wanders in and out of a couple of scenes like she's got a tracker on Rick and a head only filled with pouty, nonsensical one-liners. "Cramming for finals?" "Aren't you getting a little old for this? I know I am." Her longest scene is the commercial, which we see in its entirety on a security guard's portable TV. Because that's necessary.

We never get to know Tony (Deney Terrio, choreographer and Dance Fever host) either---he buffs the floor, coincidentally teaches a dance class attended by the professor's sister (even though the sister is only visiting Florida from Chicago), gets fired, and tries stripping, but that's shown in literally one scene each, without any point I can see. Also, Rick does have an actual sister, though I don't know why she's present. She arrives to work with their mom at a coffee shop, then begs Rick to take care of her cats as she's bequeathing him her car and rental apartment to take off for San Francisco, where she plans to sell mail-order hearts while she waits 3 years for her boyfriend to get out of prison. That's the two scenes the sister gets. A bunch of random details, and the only thing we ultimately get from it is that Rick is willing to take care of her cats, and chooses to screw a girl in someone else's hotel room rather than the rent-free apartment he has for a month.

And what about the professor's husband, who we spent so much time watching during the opening sequence of the movie? He works an odd schedule at Cape Canaveral, then gets fired (quits) in an inexplicable scene where the actors are talking over one another, another phone call makes a ringing interruption, and we're led to believe the space program is being abandoned and rocket scientists must move on to defense work or elsewhere entirely. He rides and works on those recumbent and experimental bikes in his free time, but for reasons never explained to us, resists repeated encouragement to explore that as an alternate profession, instead moping, going to the shooting range for an 8-second scene, and visiting a friend in the arcade game industry, who apparently covers both game design/production as well as manufacturing the physical arcade units. How do I know that? We accompany the husband job hunting there. Why? I don't know. He also runs into an old friend divorcée and is suddenly in her bedroom, wistfully discussing 1980 like it was those good old days long gone, even though this movie was released in 1983. He says he wanted to kiss this (then married) woman on New Years Eve 1980, but it wouldn't have been right. End scene, of course, because that gave us all the meaningless, disjointed history we needed.

The moment where any characters are most emotionally accessible is when Faye brings her sister Patsy (the only character whose name I could remember without looking other than Rick, because they call him Ricky Rocket) to the airport and Patsy doesn't want to leave. One of her kids is sick, and even though it's not serious, her husband wants her home. All of a sudden she explains that she can' t be herself around her husband, that he tells her what to do and doesn't appreciate her. Her sister Faye gives her rather odd advice that doesn't seem appropriate to the situation, but then Patsy says "you're right. Bye!" And cut.

I'd say the first half of the film spends most of its time showing stripper guys dancing in sequined thongs (not Rick---he only bares to a much more palatable pair of small shorts while dancing) and Faye covering her face. The second half is mostly phone calls. Altogether, it reads like several possible stories that never got told about people we never quite met, leaving a viewer not sure what or why you watched.

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A curious coup for this failure of film is the soundtrack, made up of a lot of Jan Hammer, two solid Bryan Adams songs (including "Heaven," which this movie totally doesn't deserve and squanders bizarrely), English Beat, Split Enz, Rita Coolidge, the Europeans, the Metromen's Tom Teeley, P-Funk spinoff Kiddo, and an early version of "Obsession" performed by its writers, Michael Des Barres and Holly Knight.

After writing all this, I wonder if it's worth it to warn the few people straying to IMDB to investigate it to stay away from this one. I'd have still gone through with seeing it myself, but someone else might be saved two hours of good living.