AI Season 12 - 6 Remain

     Last week Burnell went, a small travesty considering Lazaro remains, but not a big deal since it should have been Burnell or Amber leaving this week if Lazaro had left (rightly) last week. I don't know why Janelle was holding up her hands and shaking her head when they didn't use the save on Burnell. It would only endanger her if he were added back. I was very nervous for her near the end there.

     This week I was lucky enough to catch a large part of the show live, and even vote! My sister and I split our votes for Kree and Janelle. I would have given some to Candice too, had I gotten her number, but I was mainly thinking of voting for Janelle because I think she needs it more, and of the three, she's the only one the judges wouldn't save. In spite of the 500 or so votes we were able to give her, I'm obviously still concerned. I think the country fan base is split between Janelle and Kree, and properly favoring Kree even though both of them could have successful careers and would be offering different styles (though in the similar vein).

     Lazaro is really starting to annoy me with his cockiness. I understand it's good for him to have confidence when he's been put down by so many people for his troubles throughout his life, but you can't go in the complete opposite end of the spectrum and expect that will be embraced. An arrogant ass is an arrogant ass even if he started off as a shy, retiring dreamer.

     I quickly guessed the theme of the first part of the show, Burt Bacharach (how come people always say it like baccarat when it's clearly Bacharach?)/Hal David songs, though we came in on Lazaro. As soon as Kree started, it was obvious. But at first I didn't realize this was a two-round show. We were eating at a local spot with TVs at each table, so we weren't able to stay to the end, because we weren't there for two hours. But it was enough to vote on for sure! To write about, I had to watch a copy of the show at home.

     Angie is just very fake and Disney Channel for me. Even her homemade YouTube videos look contrived. It doesn't mean she's not talented. She sings beautifully. But it doesn't reach me. I could see singing along with it mindlessly on the radio, but I wouldn't buy it. Maybe once she gets older and goes through something, she'll have something real to express. On rare occasions, it's there already. But most of the time it seems like she's just performing.
     Seems like Keith totally agrees with me! She has no passion. The singing is too easy and there's no humanity. Wow, he read my mind. Nicki agrees! She feels maybe it's the song. I agree with Nicki that on occasion before there has been some passion. But I'm thinking of her own song and the one Colton Dixon song she did as I say that, which means 2 out of at least 7 performances from her. Perhaps, as Randy suggests, she's not digesting the lyrics. Randy reveals what has been clear all season, no matter what BS they're peddling about the contestants "choosing" the songs: usually these contestants don't really know the songs they're "choosing," so they have to learn how to understand the songs as well as memorize the lyrics. Mariah wants to say the same thing but aim it differently. She blames it on pronunciation. Usually I'd agree, but in this case that didn't stand out to me, it was more just her over-polished yet blandly vacant delivery. Angie promises more passion, then tries to hypnotize voters with an eerily empty Osmond stare.

     Irritating Amber is up next. At least she has the interesting quirk of being too impatient to microwave frozen shrimp. She cooks them in her mouth instead. Bleh. I am as lazy as the next lazy person and I love me some shrimp, but seriously---dump four on a plate and microwave them for 40 seconds!
     Amber is wearing an ill-adjusted strapless pantsuit as she sings "I Say A Little Prayer for You." She sounds a little better than usual for me. It's more relaxed, less shouty. But there's still a little lack of control, some wobbling when she goes low or very high. In the bridge she goes shouty. But on the whole it's a lot better than she's been since top 20 or 10. The high notes at the end are nice and clear.
     As usual, the judges, led by Nicki, are over the top with unwarranted praise. She in no way deserves to be the favorite of the competition. this was just fine, not spectacular. If the song didn't sound old-fashioned, that was thanks to the song and not to her, given that she did a straightforward, unchanged copy of it. Randy claims the arrangement is tricky, but it's the same regular arrangement---I believe that's called the bridge, Randy. Mariah recognizes it as the bridge. She also admits there were some small mistakes, yet she still claims it was an A+ performance. Keith may be right that Amber doesn't oversing by making things overly ornate, but she certainly gets too loud and strained.

     I can't believe Anthony Hopkins is there! Strange and impressive for the contestants.    

     Lazaro is here to murder "Close to You," after a bizarre package that claims he loves to hunt but makes such a joke of things it's hard to tell if it's serious or just a gag. Probably the way they wanted it, since so many sheeplike teens are all "eww, hunting, so mean! :(" Either way, Lazaro has no mercy when it comes to Carpenters songs.
     He starts off with his usual heavily accented delivery, with "burrz" suddenly appearing. He's started in a key that sounds too low for him, but then is straining to reach the high notes. What? Is your range really that limited, Lazaro? How have you gotten even close to this far? The feel is very slow and loungy. I love an old loungy sound,  but this is wrong. And what evil wardrobe member put him in a horizontally patterned suit? The boy is relatively slim, but has something going on with his hips and butt that needs to be diminished, not highlighted. This outfit makes the worst of everything. Much like Lazaro is doing to the song after the key move up---an ugh nightmare. All of "That is why all the boys in town follow you around" was painful. I love this song, have terrific memories of it, and I'm lucky enough that they can survive this massacre. But even the audience must have recognized this horror, because the applause was as politely smattered as it gets with an AI live studio, where I'm sure they have signs directing them to applaud.
     Randy is understandably speechless. He isn't too nice to say it was horrible. I agree, it was the worst performance yet. It seriously calls into question how Lazaro is still here. Mariah laughs and quickly explains it's because of Randy's honesty. She agrees with Randy and points out that Lazaro missed the key change and stayed singing in the wrong key, which ends the song and is "kind of a big deal." I agree. I agree with Mariah that Lazaro is best when he gets to the loud, powerful parts. Last week I pointed out to my mother "he'll be better in this part" when I knew such a section of song was coming, and of course he was. But you can't be a singer that way! In "Close to You," he basically only had "in your eyes of blue" to emit power through, and that was it. Keith is his routinely diplomatic self, although when he was mentioning Lazaro's fans loving him, it sounded like he said "they will still laugh for you" or "they will still lie for you" after tonight, which is absolutely accurate, but must have been intended as "they will still love you after tonight." Keith wouldn't be that cruelly honest! Nicki smirks beside him. Keith also points out that Lazaro started too low, thus forcing himself to sing sharp, then skips the key change. Nicki skips her opportunity to give the same criticism as everyone else, using timesaving as an excuse. Lazaro doesn't miss his own opportunity to give an excuse, claiming that they "shanged the keys a lot and it was too low, too high." It's called having no range, Lazaro.

     Kree's brother has the crazy eyes, and looks a lot like some actor with similarly crazy eyes. Hmm. . . he played someone who snorted and laughed weirdly as a date on some sitcom. Or Ally McBeal? He was Seinfeldianly "perfect but" this one inexcusable quirk. Anyway, that's who her brother looks like. Kree claims we don't know she sang at rodeos, but I feel like they told us that before, somewhere along the way. Oh, not that she sand at them, but that she loves them. Well, I'd assume so if she sang at them all her life.
     The a capella beginning of "What the World Needs Now" is stunning. Her voice is gorgeous. I find this song hard to sing because the notes are kind of odd choices (outside of the chorus), but she has no problems. It's tempting and honeyed. She was simple and magnificent. Her outfit was boring as usual---I don't understand why wardrobe insists on always putting her in slim black jeans and a billowy blouse. What a copout.
     Mariah compliments Kree on the arrangement and delivery. She then introduces a new can of worms of criticism that's news to me. Apparently someone (no one I've ever heard) has said that Kree is lacking emotion when she sings. That's hilarious! Who is saying that? Kree is pretty much the most sincere, honest singer here. Probably matched with Candice on that. Candice was criticized for her "face" when she sings, though I didn't understand that. I don't recall anyone ever mentioning anything amiss with Kree's honest emotion. Nicki predicts Kree will be at the Country Music Awards next year and every year following. Randy agrees with her and everyone else, then points out that Kree, and not "the last performer" (Lazaro, for those of us not too chicken to say it), is what this show is all about.

     Janelle is up next, and her shocking skeleton in the closet was that she played a boy in an eight grade play. Me too, Janelle. I was Macduff in King Lear. The next year I was a Peer in Iolanthe. I think I had a brief respite for a couple of years, when I got to play a Scottish whore and some Old West gal among other things, but then I was cast as a man again, a king of France. Granted, I went to an all-girls' school, but I was fed up by then, and quit drama. It only takes a handful of times being cast as a real manly man in a play for a girl to get fed up. One time ain't no thang, Janelle. And I'm guessing your casting was due to lack of males interested in drama! As they should be, when whores get the coolest costumes.
     Janelle has a slightly uneasy start (less than one line) but quickly gains confidence and is on a roll with "What Do You Get When You Fall In Love?" Her voice yodels slightly and breaks scratchily (appealingly) in just the right places. She sweetly woos Keith even as she claims she'll never fall in love again. She looks gorgeous, feels comfortable with the song, and sounds pretty darn terrific. The arrangement was mostly traditional and therefore sounded a little Love Boat or Mandrell Sisters at times, but it was pleasant and well done.
     Keith claims he's heard a different side of her with the song. Nicki and Janelle exchange superficial compliments, then Nicki says while she thinks Janelle can be a success, this was boring. I wouldn't say that. Randy agrees a bit with Nicki, saying that there should be more treats in the arrangement to show off Janelle's abilities. I can understand that. I don't quite know what Mariah's talking about, and I don't care. Janelle admits her real surprise story with Ryan: although she's allergic, she's chosen to wear a feather necklace! Not the best idea when breathing is a part of singing. Or life.

     Candice reveals that she speaks a South Carolinian dialect called Gichi. Sounds like a kind of pidgeon. She claims it cuts 30 seconds of talking down to 10 seconds, but it sounds like it adds time in every example shown in the package. Examples: "Y'all come yah" = Come here, "Gal, move now, cause I been a sit here" = I was sitting here. I agree it sounds a little like Jamaican.
     Candice is sexy and sultry with "Don't Make Me Over." Her high notes are sweet and alluring, and she happily veers away from the low blehs I hate except for a portion of one line ("always be by my side"). She's awesome, powerful, beautiful. It sounds old fashioned but in a fantastic, gold standard way. The judges all stand (except Mariah, who has the perpetual wardrobe excuse pass).
     Nicki disagrees with me about the song sounding old fashioned. I think she has to in order to love the performance as much as she did. Randy continues his cliches of "this is what the show is all about" and "she's in it to win it." He points out the "candy" treats she included, which is I suppose the "cookies" treats he wanted from Janelle. Keith puts her in his top three for the night. Well, duh, Keith, she should have been in everyone's top three overall last week. Those top threes including Amber were inexcusable. No top three should lack Kree or Candice, and the third should be Angie or Janelle. Amber being near any top three is just plain wrong. Do the judges not hear her hollering almost every song? I guess not. I wish Simon were still here.

     Round Two! Songs the contestants wish they wrote. Aw, crap. Well, at least we've culled the herd. Maybe these contestants can actually pick good songs. But it kind of hurts to hear the songs teenagers wish they wrote. This would be a much better segment if the contestants were a little older and were judging from a place of a little more life experience, as well as more musical experience (for some of them).

     Angie fancies herself an edgy, knowledgeable music connoisseur, so it's no surprise she picks a "fresh young artist" just perfect for the soundtrack of a TV show or commercial aimed at emo Christian teen girls, "Love Came Down" by Kari Jobe, who likes to put a bird on it, judging by her album cover. Angie's also gotten herself back to the piano, because she'd be a fool not to heed the repeated, insistent urging of the judges.
     I'm not sure why Angie wishes she had written this song---maybe because it's not that impressive and she could have? It's pretty, but it's simple and obvious. The drumming in the background sounds sickeningly machinelike, and the weird birds background is unsettling. There's some very freaky vibrating in her voice when she says her second to last "I-I-I-I am yours." The real bird is a welcome relief. The weird "I" vibrate returns to the last line. Is that some kind of effect or is she doing it? It sounds like she's using the back of her tongue to rhythmically stop the sound as it exits her throat. Sort of Tarzan call-ish, too. The rest of the singing is fine, a little yelly at points. She's posing for Animal Crackers throughout as usual, and the general gist of the song is "I am yours" repeated again and again. It was okay, and better than she has been without the piano recently, but not her best by far. And she really needs to quit the moony faces at the camera.
     The judges praise the performance and the fact that she was at the piano. The piano, they expound, the piano! It's Angie. Keith applauds the freaky birds visualizer. Nicki reiterates her Candice/Kree/Amber trifecta, but now she allows Angie a possibility in there. Thank the lord for a small measure of sense.
 
     Amber arrives onscreen once again shamelessly wardrobed in early Whitney Houston costuming. "Let's win her some votes by fooling people!" they must cackle. "Spraypainted  jackets and big curls will make everyone think she's Whitney singing "How Will I Know?" Or not. At least not for those of us who remember what Whitney's voice sounded like!
     Amber wishes she'd written "Love on Top" by Beyoncé. She, of course, was put on top by the guy she was dating. How could it be otherwise with one as perfect as she is? she coos.  As it starts, it looks like she's fake singing along with a group, which I don't understand. She sounds like she's having trouble with the lower notes. And then some higher ones. She just doesn't have control over her voice or her breath. Here comes the shouting again, in the chorus. How come no judge ever has anything to say about this? The high "oo" bits are nice, but the rest is nasal and just average at best. She sounds very young and not special at all. But maybe the garbage lies the judges have been pushing the past couple weeks will continue to propel her on through the competition.
     As if she heard me, Mariah insists, "Yes Amber, America loves you," which obviously isn't true, or she wouldn't ever have been in the bottom, and she has been. It was only with careful but deliberate and unrelenting promotion from the judges that she pulled out. Not Mariah's favorite vocal, though---oh, only because she's "so good." Everyone blows smoke up Amber's ass like they've been paid to. I have no clue why they always do this. It really irks me, because she's not that great.

     She is better than Lazaro, who unfortunately is singing "Angels" by Robbie Williams, which I like. Didn't he sing this in auditions? At least it has some power sections where he can sound okay. Too bad it also has a lot of quiet sections where he's bound to fall flat. I don't understand why he's so unsteady and muffly in the quiet parts even in songs he knows well and loves. But it's not good. The power parts are a big improvement. You don't have to have the most spectacular voice to sing this song well (shown by Robbie Williams's own version), but Lazaro still didn't deliver that well, missing about half the impact by snuffling weakly through the gentle verses.
     Keith loves the song, so for some reason he's glad Lazaro sang it. But he differentiates Lazaro from the girls by saying they are really artists, and Lazaro seems to just be in a talent quest. Randy and Mariah admit this was a better effort but the girls have him beat. They agree this song was "preferable." Poor Lazaro. Let him go, please, voters. Keeping him in is doing him more harm than good! It's just cruel.

     I hope Kree wins. It should come down to her versus Candice. Anything else would be just wrong. Kree has chosen a Kris Kristofferson song, "Help Me Make It Through the Night," which she finds "simply beautiful." That's exactly the type of song she should sing, because that's exactly how she sings. It's just right. Quiet (but not at all quiet), honest, lyrical, intimate, heartfelt---everything it should be. I understand the one word of harmonizing on "yesterday," but I didn't even need that one word because Kree's voice alone is so stunning. And she got a sexy little black dress for this performance, though my sister didn't like it.
     No standing from the judges. Come on. Nicki's too bored to say anything except that Kree is at the head of the class. Of course she goes on to insult Janelle by complimenting Kree's believability and lure. Randy gives kudos and repeats that she's a natural. Agreed. Great song, great singer, he praises. Mariah embarrasses herself by forgetting the song was presented up top as a Kris Kristofferson song, because she obviously thought it was a Willie Nelson song. She didn't want to commit to that, though, so she deferred to Randy, who saved her somewhat. It was still pretty obvious she thought it was by Willie Nelson. And even worse, Mariah thought that in spite of doing a version herself! But she humbly agrees that Kree sang it just as it should be sung. Keith calls it "a buckle polisher," which sounds vaguely dirty. I propose to my co-watcher that maybe it means you're tearful, so you look down so people don't think you're a crybaby cowboy, and you use the tears and the looking down time to polish your belt buckle. Let's give the country crowd the benefit of the doubt, folks! Keith goes on to give her the huge accolade of predicting a future as a member of the Grand Ole Opry. Wow! Not that I'd be surprised, but everyone is so truly complimentary, it's nice.

     Janelle presents the problem with teenagers choosing songs they wish they'd written with her story of being blown over by Garth Brooks's "The Dance" when she was 11 years old. Yes, it blows the mind of an 11 year old, and it's a good song, but she might have chosen something better for herself. i don't know. It's a good song, it's more her story that I didn't like.
     She sounds confident in it, and relaxed, but I think she could have picked a song that showed off her voice better. It probably would have been better to pick a great female vocal. This sounds okay, but there's a lot of extended words and phrasing in there.
     The judges seem to agree with me. Once again, Mariah has never heard the song. She preferred the first verse and chorus, when the delivery was more intimate. Keith credits the actual songwriter, Tony Arata. Keith also feels like her guitar may have forced her down a more intimate path. Nicki says she preferred this performance and says it showed a little more what Janelle can do vocally. Funny, I totally disagree with that one. I also disagree with Nicki's feeling that "this wasn't enough to get a leg up over the other girls tonight," but that's because I'm not being prodded to praise Amber undeservedly. "Janelle fans, where are you?" Ryan pleads, which is equal parts insulting and possibly helpful.

     Candice is coming back with The Cure! Now that I did not expect, thought I was banking that she, Janelle, and Kree would be the ones making good choices for this portion of the show. Okay, she doesn't know it from The Cure, she knows it from Adele. Adele's music taste I buy. It's unfortunate that these people don't pick up on the music influences of the other artists they like. It would have been far more interesting to hear Candice do her own version of a different Cure song than to hear her redo a redo. But she's chosen it because she likes to sing about love. Okay. that's a little weird. Sweet, but an odd way to put things.
     No surprise, Candice delivers beautifully, more like Nina Simone than Adele. It's showstopping. I could see her singing at Radio City, easily. Perfect.
     The judges are all standing, including Mariah, who even walks up to give her a hug! Keith was on his knees bowing down beside the judges' table. Ryan tries hard to shut up the audience, Randy says it was one of the best in all twelve seasons, and Candice cries and smiles. Me too! Wow. Touching. Shut up, Ryan, quizzing her about it and saying "great job" only makes things worse. Put an arm around her and be more low-key. Wow, well, I missed this performance when I got to see the show live, and it looks like I missed a lot! But I'm still glad I spent so many votes on Janelle.

     The rankings this season haven't changed around all that much for me, possibly because the group was so trimmed down so quickly. And because almost all the guys were almost always worse than all the girls. So I think I'm in about the same positions as last week.


Tonight's Ranking:

1. Candice
2. Kree
3. Janelle
4. Angie
5. Amber
6. Lazaro

     It really is a case of tiers again, though. Spots 1 & 2 are fairly tied, as are 3 & 4, and it's only subjective opinion and the feeling of the night that influences one a little higher than the other for each pair. The pairs are definitely far separated, though! Kree and Candice are well above Janelle and and Angie.

Who should go?
     Lazaro, no question about it. He doesn't belong anywhere near any of this. But I also know that the judges would have put Janelle in that 5th spot, so I'm worried for her. It's really not fair if any of the girls go before Lazaro, and she's the only one who the judges aren't praising and pushing the voters to support. It should be Lazaro going. But I wouldn't be sad to see Amber go instead---except for the fact I have zero doubt the judges would save her. At this point, the only ones I don't think they'd save are Janelle and (understandably!) Lazaro. Please, folks, it's time to spare Lazaro the humiliation and let him leave.